Final final!!

My final paper for these four years in two more days. I hope I will be able to graduate smoothly. Two more days of hardcore study and I will be free. What I do next will all be within my control. No more stress on how my studies will be. It has been a long time since I update my blog. Lots had happened during my break from blogging. First of all, I quit my job. Well, I have to redo my FYP. Other than that, nothing special I would say. Life has been lack of something. Well, it has been stagnant.

Random

Screw this life..

Don't Bother

Watching an old drama. Right now. Don't want to bother about anything. another 3 more days of work and i will have an off day. Just looking forward to the off day and can't be bother. Tired or bored? Hope that I haven't fall into depression.

Just asked my friend bout when I am starting my class and she said 25th. Her comment was I was being too awesome to not even know. Deep down I hope that my life can be awesome. Nothing new. Nothing excited. No avhievement. Just stagnant.

Life has been random with work. On call nearly 24/7 for work. That is the most I can do for them right now. Poor management causing so much trouble and in the end hoping for the best. If they can't improve their management. Then their business won;t lasst long. That is for sure.

Now I just can't be bother about anything. Let thing be. Things that are not in my control, I can only handle them that way. Never put my hope too high on it or it will disappoint me deeply.

Stress!?

Work had been stressful. Since Thursday till Sunday. There is non stop of frustration during work that I have to deal with. Customers, staff, and tiredness. Complains from the customers, troubles from some of the staffs, demands from the boss. All these seem like craps until today.

Today I manage to get half a day of in the morning. It has been quite a relaxing day thanks to Heather's arrangement. It was more like a set up for me today. I didn't know that there will be so many people for the lunch at a fine dining restaurant today. Who cares when you have great companions to enjoy great food together. Some laughter here and there and some catch up make my day.

Today at work, small meeting with the manager and everything seem solved for the time being. All for the best of the restaurant I would say.

Reach home early tonight. Which is good in a way for I am able to clean my room. Got everything in place meaning I will have busier day ahead. I will have to buck up and start on my FYP. Cheong K session cancelled for a greater reason.

At least things seem organised now. It takes time to cope with lots of changes and happenings. I will be bale to manage them.

Excitement?

Maybe it is time for some random excitement. Things are not entirely in my control now. Till now I always have doubt bout myself. Am I really suited to be in a relationship? Suited or not? there are time when things are beyond our control. It is just me hate it when things are not in my control.

Feelings are not something that is easy to be controlled eh. Just hope that this time I will not hurt anyone just because I want to avoid hurting myself.

Last two night, has been good. Just discovered a hidden bar. A bar should have the atmosphere where one come in will be able to isolate themselves from the outside world. A small cosy bar with no signboard. Just a semi heavy locked door with a small sign saying please call to unlock door. "New Gold Mountain" bar situated at Liverpool st.

Inside the venue, a small bar I would say only can fit a bartender at a time. Sat down in front of the bar, I notice a few bottle of home made spirit and aromatics. In front of me is a young bartendress just arrived from UK 4 months ago. She is professional, I admire her for being able to capture what I wanted for my drink. The whole night would have been perfect if she had been able to make my Mojito correctly.

Cookie bar was alright last night with a new presence from Malaysia. Yi Wayn a friend from high school which we haven;t met for a long time.

ArGH!! Boredom to death I would say. Am I? This kind of situation is calling for some excitement. Some adventure I would say. Away from everything. Hmm.. Maybe snow trip when I am having my break in two weeks time. A short trip will do. Or ask for some leave to travel to Adelaide again? Or!!! HOR TZE YEE! SKY DIVE LICENSE!!! I know you will read this. Or!! come here right now for SNOWBOARD!!

...

Just a little bit tired and lost..

Structure Advance Analysis

Finally, the first and the final paper for the semester. Preparation should be enough. It is time to kick some ass for the semester and start getting ready for the next.

Sem 1, 1st paper, Year 4

The only paper that I will be facing for this semester is on Tuesday. I am a bit tensed lately. Got side tracked a lot. Due to work, and maybe a little bit of extra thing that came unexpectedly along the way.

I am happy about it. Unexpected extra thing? Rephrase, "A good thing came by along the way and trailing along as well.".

The first and final paper for the semester. Working hard for it right now.

Good Things

"Good things come to those who wait,". It might be true to a certain point..

Always On My Mind

Today was an awesome day. Woke up fresh from a 9 hours sleep. Can't blame me for enjoying that sleep. Total of not more than 12 hours of sleep for the past three nights nearly kill me. Gone to work right now and it is super boring. Not even a single customer right at freaking 2pm. Just me in front typing this blog entry here.
Lately, i might have been a bit weird. There is this thing that is always on my mind. It was actually a particular person I would say. Woke up thinking about her randomly. Nah.. I am not going on with it anymore. Just lately she always on my mind.

Btw, walking out in the middle of movie is the first time I did it today. Hangover 2 officially sucks or I just do not have the mood to watch it. Screw it

Rewind

"I don't choose to rewind. I choose to go forward. Sometimes, fast forward."... The past had its chance. I have to give the future a chance.

Future

"The future is scary, but you do not go back to the past because it seems familiar. It is a mistake."

White lies

There are times you lie because there are things that you want to protect. Those lies are what we call "white lies". I lied too. In fact I don't prefer to lie unless if I need to. I would prefer to stay silence rather than to lie. There are time you might think that your lie are good but it might not end up that way. The person you want to protect might refer you to be honest if they really understand you now.

Watched source code yesterday. Amazing movie. With a part where everyone was laughing and smelling together even though they do not know each other. It is amazing how laughter can unite people together. Beside that, there is a question that caught my attention in the movie. "If you only has less than a minute to live, what will you do?".

The answer in the movie is, I will make every second counts. Yea, I will too. Hope that you guys can do the same as well. Appreciate those around you. Don't regret for not taking any action for those you love.

immature

Two nights ago, after a comment from a friend makes me realise that there is a matter I might have again dealt with it in a very immature way. Maybe she is right. I am ignoring the manager rather than I am being serious. It is true that I have no respect for him but that doesn't mean I have to be so rude to him. Immature.

If is two years ago, I would have quit this job. I can't be that childish anymore. I will have to face it and learn from my mistake. I will have to come out with a good solution.

All fresh today with a gloomy weather outside. Chilling and drilling. Woke up early and complete the presentation outline in 20 minutes before I go to work. Amazingly early to work so I took a different route from Flinders station. Walking under the drizzle calm me down. The soothing feeling. I am tired of my life right now. At the same time I am eager to finish up the things I am suppose to. I can't leave things stay undone. Nasty feeling I will get.

3 more weeks to the end of everything. I will have to back up. Hope everything will be smooth. Lately, I do get headache from staying up late. Maybe I do get a bit stress up with the things I have to cope lately.

4.44am

4.44 am and I am here sitting in front of my laptop doing my assignment. Halfway done. Do not have the correct answer yet. Doing report and the trying to produce the results as well. Playing some songs from Enrique, having slight headache due to late night sleep again. I just can't sleep if I can't get a satisfying answer.

This year, Victoria turns cold earlier than expected. 4 degrees Celsius during the Autumn season. AWESOME!!

Tired and yet can't sleep. That is me. I do feel guilty sleeping in the middle of something. I will only sleep when I really can;t take it any more. Well, that is the dedication and responsibility that I had been talking about.

Each game we played, we should make sure that we can produce the best result out of it. Most of the time whenever I take up a challenge, I will make sure I am up for it. Up to it would mean I must make sure that I have the time to dedicate, I have to ability to do the best out of it, I have the information that can guarantee my success, and I will pour everything I had into it.

For instance, working part time right now. I am willing to learn and put a lot of effort into it. If not, why bother? Let's say, I am to do my assignment. I will make sure that I have enough information to start on it or else, screw it. Each game I played, I will take it seriously. There is no joke about it. If I study, I will take up at least 2 hours to concentrate, If I sleep, I will sleep dead. If I work, I will work seriously. If I play, I will play hard. Each games seem to have its own nature and I have to indulge in them differently every time.

No matter what game, I can always take up the challenge except for one. One that I am always lack of confident. One that I will have to take into the account of the other party's thought. One that I have to guess the other party feelings. I do not have enough information and the readiness to go for it. The only game that I prefer to let it pass by.

Random songs..

Alone in this room again tonight.. I got my laptop on.. with a bottle or beer.. Pictures of you running in my mind on and on again...

Well, Nice songs.. Just that I changed the lyrics a bit to suit my night..

Sleep in class

Once again, I slept in lecture. Am I proud of it?

To be more accurate, I am use to it. I have been sleeping in class ever since I am in primary school.

This If Life.. Embrace it...

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is a beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.

Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it!

If only there are tears..

The title was taken from a mandarin song. My mandarin isn't good. Since young, I had been lazy to take on mandarin lesson. I wouldn't blame my mum for sending me to an English school. I do have the opportunity to learn if I want to. It is just that I am lazy. Instead I taken up Japanese language but I wasn't serious bout it. Taking things for granted seem to be no good.

Today, I have an off day and I had decline all offer to go out except for dinner. Well, I still have to eat. All this working, studying, drinking, party, and etc. I need time for my own. My own time in my room. Settle down, prepare a bit for my studies, and rest. It is time for my break.

From my title, I do have things that I want to put here. I still remember when I was.a small kid I used to cry. Whenever I am sad, angry or annoyed. I don't since when I do not cry that often. I might still be emotional, but I have learn to always let thing passed by. People do say I am cold blooded at times. I do not shed tears that easily nowadays. Watching loved ones passed away, sad movies perhaps, or even when I end my relationship. That does not mean I am not hurt.

People can say what they want. They can think what they want. In the end, I am the one who know what I want and who I am. Seem like I am still the same. Whenever my life gets let's exciting, my past will start to haunt me. Lots of things will run in my kind. Whatever the people around me said or do will affect me as well.

Well, this is my way of life.

A guy can never let people know what they feel at that moment of an event or occurrence. It is weakness. They should stay calm and be serious with what they have to accomplish and uphold their responsibility. This is life. They have to be strong to protect. Others aren't important. That is why I prefer to ignore things that aren't related to my life. I have enough o care about. To care about the people sound me.

Time Capsule

Time capsule, all of us would know what is that. A capsule that can be a container of anything that will contain the things that we want to keep for the future. Ever thought of how you will be, what you will be, where are you, who are you or ETF in the future? Video what you think of your future and keep it for the future you to watch. It might be surprising or touching. In the end at least you will know how much you have grown.

At least you will have a story to tell by then. Something remind you of who you have been in the past. People always move forward looking into the future but there are time they should stop for the present and step back to look at the past. Ironically, this is similar to a basketball game. In the game, once the all is on your hand you will charge to the front trying to get to the net as close as possible to score. Once you had charge too fast or there is an opponent in front, you will have to stop, hold the ball, look around, and jump backward to score. You will habit is easier to score as well. There time, it is not about getting the thing right away. It is about how you achieve it.

In life, I prefer to have stories to go with each action and each items that I have. Lately, there is an interesting thing. A cool.friend actually steal bar menu for me whenever we go drinking. I will keep each of it and have the story told in the future. Really appreciate it though.

Sitting on the train heading to the city. The shady weather makes the world looks gloomily. Right, I might be at the same state. No wonder I feel so comfortable. I fit in the weather today. Another day of work today. Full day just to take over people's shift. I am tired. Just when I had enough rest, and here I go again.

The Lost Blademan

Just watched the movie today. The lost blademan. Played by Donnie Yen. Average movie. Nothing much. Another day just passed. At least it is a good one.

From the movie, there is a saying that I would have learn. The world, whether it is hell or heaven, it's all depends on how we see the world. To you, living in some rural area or the third world country, it is a living hell? It might be for you. For the people living there, they are contented with their life. At least, there are some shit that they do not need to cope with. But there are shit that we do not have to cope with as well. This is life. People will believe what they want to and see what they desire.

It is may now. One more month and I am done with another semester. I still have lots to do. Lots that I haven't finish I would say.

Memories

Nothing beats the legendary HIGHSCHOOL period...
Wesley Facebook Group

Wondering

All of us wonder.. I wonder too much..

There are times, even though your stories do not end happily, be grateful. Somehow, in another part of the world, someone else's stories have a beautiful ending.

The simplest way to be happy is do not ask anything for yourself. Just pray and hope that others have what they want and they are happy with their life.

There are times I always ask myself whether am I a selfish person?

Wishing for The Impossible

Impossible? Well, Maybe I always wish for the impossible, but I also have confidence that I can make the impossible possible. There are times I might fail in reaching out to what I want. But I do learn something out of it. There are times, I will go for it again and again depends on the situations.

The above video by WongFu. It is true. Everything relationship begins with strangers and ended up being strangers again.

Stage 1: Strangers
stage 2: The Chase
Stage 3: Honeymoon
Stage 4: Comfortable
Stage 5: Tolerance
Stage 6: Downhill
Stage 7: Breaking Up

It is easy to say that breaking up isn't always going to be sad. I mean being sad is natural for all but it is also a mark of a new beginning. Everything has always depend on how we see it. People often ask me why am I not in a relationship.

"That friend of yours is pretty and she is single."
"You always hang out with her and why not?"

Well, my space has been reserved for the one I think is special for me.

To those people outside who thinks that break out sucks and it is the end of your life... Read the quote below and think again. Taken from the short clip. You don;t have to force yourself to forget them but just be thankful for it in the future.

“If life separates us & we end up in totally different places, I’ll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time, & I’ll be thankful for that. & I hope that wherever you are, you’ll be thankful too.”

I have more to say. From the clip there is another things I had always agree on. During stage 4, I would usually call it the comfort zone where people will start to take things for granted. Beside being a couple, even friendship and family, we all tend to do that. It would eventually lead to what people might take it as, we are using the other person regardless of who they are but we are comfortable with them. Good or bad? It depends. Personally, I would hope that I will not take things for granted. Maybe that is why I prefer to stand by myself and work things out.

Lately, I have lots to write. There are a lot to write. Am I being emotional again? I hope not. emotion is the spark to being weak. I must learn to control them.

Two Ways

In life, the street is a two way thing.

How I start my day?

Never start your morning in a rush. It just spoilt your mood for the entire day later on. Well, it doesn't always work as there are times you had partied hard the day before so....

Still, I always wake up earlier than I need to.

I like to wake up in a warm blanket of a cold morning. With my laptop right by my side, I will definitely browse my Facebook. WHY?? To stalk people??

Nah, look for some news songs in Facebook. It is awesome that lots of friends love to share new songs or old songs in Facebook. Listening to some random good songs can really make my day.

By Moby,


By Charice,


By Bruno,


Btw, yesterday I had just watch another alright movie I would say. The quote of the week,
"When your life is on the line, that is when you learn more about yourself".

Not to forget another EPIC video...

Party?

"Keep Partying"

Someday, we will have to stop that. Party is fun. However a man can't keep partying for his whole life. There will be the time when he has to settle down.

In current era, settling down seem to be the hardest things to do. Most would say a man would settle down when they have met the one girl that they should have. Maybe.

What is the meaning of settling down?

I don;t really get that. Maybe it is not my time yet. To me, I will do what I have to do. I will pour all my dedication into things I do and hold up tight to my responsibility.

Why do I even start blogging again? Maybe someone reminded me that I haven't been updating my blog for a long time. It is time for me to get a new laptop and a new camera. Soon I will start blogging from bars that I visit. It will be a whole new collection. My thoughts and emotions in the bars will be something different.

Home

Home to my blog. Life has been hectic again it seems for me. However, time management is crucial. There is no such thing as being busy and have no time for certain things. Finally I am home early today. Every night for the past few weeks, I am always home either late in the night or early in the morning. Work, visit bars and clubs had been my activities in the night.

Porn has existed long ago. From drawings, to photography, to movies, and now 3D porn on big screen cinema.

SEX and ZEN. A whole new stories with some funny acts along the show. Not to forget soft porn as well. It is only a fairly good movie with me fell asleep twice.

For every movie that you had watched, there will be something that you can learn from it. To me, it would be the Monk. Sad that his 50 years learnings and teachings is all gone in a day. Seeing this remind me of how I should do everything as near perfection as possible and not allowing any mistakes.

A single mistake will in the end destroy all the hard work. Most of the time, the mistakes seem insignificant and small and yet, we tend to neglect them.

My life isn't boring with so many things to do. There are still a lot for me to learn and see. Have been putting everything into work and studies. There are things that i have neglected during this period of time. Slowly I will get use to it and have everything under control.

Responsibilities. I must learn to take them seriously. A guy will have to do what they have to do. Maybe I should have some time off for myself. Time off where I do not have to think about anything even bout chasing my dream. That would be nice. Time off where I can slowly pull myself back and cherish my past and contemplate about my future.

Nah, should not even care about my past and future but enjoy the present. Solely, just for the present.

Past, present, and future, they are equally important. "Do not forget the past, enjoy the present, look forward to the future."

It is the same, right and wrong is equally as important. Being always right seem perfect, but life isn't perfect. Being wrong once a while let us grow and make us realise what is right.

It is all about balance. "Work seriously, play insanely".

Part of me love challenges and competition, while the other part of me love being lazy and peace. There are times I would love to do good in both civil and bartending, and there are times I would love to open up a nice venue where I can just serve people from behind the bar.

Ashita!?

Ashita!?

Tomorrow!?!?

No, is today. The day has just started.

Future, present, and tomorrow, they are all equally important to me.

Wednesday Blue

I am feeling lazy. Looking at my notes. Thinking that I have to go to the uni now to do my assignment makes me blue.

Cold Wednesday morning. It makes you miss your bed.

FYP

FYP, stands for Final Year Project marks that a person will soon be graduating from his studies.

This year, I have got to choose my FYP. It wasn't going to be easy. I am still thinking how should I juggle between my work and my final year.

I don't know which title to choose. I will have to decide everything by tomorrow. Seem like I will have to wake up early tomorrow morning to decide on it.

Should I take up the challenge?

The Forgotten

My mind always play tricks on me. There are times, it runs a lot of things and make me wonders. Those things that I had wondered, there are times I wanted to put them down in my blog. Sad part is I always forgot what I had been wondering about.

I shall called those memories, 'The Forgotten'.

Those things are usually about my future and my past.

Easy..

To love is easy..

To maintain is a different thing....

2011, Year of the bunnies!

2011 Chinese New Year has arrive. Currently I am in Australia. Had my reunion dinner with friends over here.

Chinese New Year has always been the time of the year when you will think about the people you care. No matter where you are, you won't forget the people that you are concerned.

Time keep on moving and I will need to keep improving.

Has been constantly telling myself that. Lately, I think about my family and friends a lot. Memories keep flowing in. It does make you wonder why aren't you home at this time. Working hard to improve yourself. Is it really true? Or is it only for the money?

A moment of confusion will then vanished once you have realised that you had always been really clear about what you want.

Sacrificing this period of time so that I can grow up and be better.

I am sorry, my family and friends. Money is not important to me but I need this time to discover myself.

A day rest!

Why should I even care? Pushed myself so hard over something that is not even mine. It is not even my restaurant and why am I working myself myself so hard. Just work normally and get paid.

Why should I take all the misunderstanding and humiliation?

It is me. Just me who want everything to be perfect. IT is a good experience. Let me learn how to deal with different people and situation. Let me see how other people react and how immature and mature some can be. Maybe this is the fun of it.

This world is great because it provides a ever lasting learning opportunity for us. It doesn't matter who we are, where we stand and how much we know and yet there will always be things for us to learn.

Today finally a day break. I will have to study up my cocktails and stock trading. In life, there are times we have to learn to step back and move forward again once we are up for it again.

Global Weather

Technology can really be in handy when you can just find out about anything with a touch nowadays. The phrase connecting the world with a click is no longer valid. Right now is connecting the world with a touch.

It seems like it is raining and cloudy in most of the major cities in the world. How awesome can that be. The word could really use some rain to clean it up a little.

Sitting outside my work place and wonder why a mm can't have everything they desire. I will have to admit. I am one help of a greedy person.

I just want to drink right now. To the tend extend which I don't even know who I am anymore. That moment will be the time I am taking a break. A break from everything. It is sad to know that you can't knocked off by a bottle of whiskey. It would kean that you will have to drink more to get drunk.

Barney's Life

I had posted a pot about the difference lifestyle between two characters from a series. "How I met you mother", has these two figures that are distinctively different from each other. I had said before that it is easy for me to lead Barney's lifestyle compare to Ted's.

Well, I did give it a try after I had finished my bartender's course last year. A life filled with nothing but emptiness. For few months straight, I enjoyed my nights during the weekends in the city. Not in restaurants, friends' house, the cinema, or at the Crown. But in bars, clubs, and strip clubs. Drinks, flirt, and nude dance.

It was stupid. I didn't like it and till now I am wondering why I did that. Just out of curiosity to discover myself?

Well, I did discover myself. I am not suited to that lifestyle.

Achieving The Vision

I had talked about my vision before. How can I make that vision work. Lately I have been thinking and planning a lot of things. Things that I want and how can I achieve them. The vision for my family and friends. Something that is by Sam and for you guys.

Today after work, on the train, I suddenly missed the moments when I wore the Wesleyan uniform running around the high school. Copy school works, played basketball, flirting with girls, and the craps that the usual high school boys would do. Maybe it is the consequences of the dream I had last night where I am with all my friends from the past.

ARGH!! Head messed up with lots of things. Stock studies, civil studies, and bar studies. Interest and future, seem easy to say.

Have I just make my life complicated from wanting to do so many things? Do I really love money and success that much? Or I just love the challenges? I am still wondering.

Maybe a simple life will be good. Saying that, I pictured one of my friend, Su-Lyn. the funny friend who once told me how she want her life to be. Get a husband that really love her, and they give birth to a few kids and lead a loving and simple life.

That is simple.

Hmm.. Can't think myself in that situation.

I can imagine myself working, doing something, and achieving something.

I don't really know. Part of me would want a simple and easy life. Maybe open a bar or two, have a medium size company doing development or consultancy. Earning a substantial income to support my interest such as diving, drinking, and hanging out with friends.

Or keep growing and maybe have the opportunity to handle a few mega projects.

Or move to Canada and open a bar.

I am lost again. Read too much for the past few days and its time for me to slow down again. Always remember the KISS method. Keep it simple, stupid.

I will definitely excel in Civil and also open up a bar where my vision will come true.

3rd of 2011

My very first entry for this year.

Today will be my first day of work this year. How will I go through this year? I am excited and wonder what will I do and what is waiting or me.

Enough of fun for the last two days. Right now, I will have to plan careful to finished up my next few plans. Work smart and hard for my future and interest. This may make my life seem a little simpler and easy to go with. I am sure there will be rough patches along my path again but I will definitely be able to overcome them.

Last year, I did average for my studies. I manage to be a bartender and now in training to run a restaurant business as a manager. To be exact would be a bar manager/floor supervisor. I will now let this chance go to a waste. Had lots of fun with friends. Friends from university to random bag packers. Awesome trips from Tasmania to China.

What would be the down in 2010? The deaths? It is saddening but yet they had reached their time and it was time for them to move on. For us who are still living will have to learn to appreciate what we've got and keep moving on as well.

There is nothing to write about in this blog lately. Nothing much run in my mind except for my works and interests. At least I don't get emotional from listening to mandarin songs again. as time pass we really do grow. It is nice to know that we do not change as time passes but we mature with it. I do not forget the things that I had learnt. The lessons will make me into a better person for the people around me. They help me to understand and care for my family and friends.

My mindset might have been wrong but maybe someday I will learnt to correct it again. I remember telling a random person at a bar about what's is important in my life.

1. Family and Friends
2. Career and Interest
3. Myself

I said that I don't mind what will happen to me but I will have to achieve what I can for what I feel is important. that random person actually gave me an answer which I would expect from everyone else. Take care of yourself first and your health actually should come first.

I am not convince. With this mindset, I can actually go for what I desire for and taking each opportunity I have seriously. Pushing myself forward as if there is no tomorrow.

I think that's it for today. Time to get ready and go for some time out at Borders.