Different way

Sometimes trying to do things different will do us good. Sometimes, it won't do us any good and yet we will still be able to learn something from it.

Today right before the test, I am different from before. I studied, I read the notes over and over again, and right before the test, I am still doing the same thing. Not the usual me. Usually, I prefer to sleep early the night before and forget about everything I learn for the test or exams. Groundwater has been a tough subject. Learning, and pure memorising won't do us any good. We must be able to understand, analyse, and solve the problems. Even till now, the subject itself still has lots of unknowns. Well, I manage the answer the theory easily but, somehow I messed up the problem solving area. This isn't good.

Today, my friend's girlfriend arrived back to KL and they went out for durians. My favourite food. My friend invited me trough the net to come back for the coming holiday. It seems like the durian season for this year will be a whole lot better than the seasons before. I wanted to go back. I do miss home. There are times when I think, maybe I should not have got back last time. It just make me miss home more than before.

Well, one of my weakness is I can be very emotional. Maybe because I understand about this weakness of mine that I always prefer to cut off all emotion when I am at work neglecting everything. I just did my test today and I should be tired now but somehow I am still wide awake.

I should really thank my friend Kean Soon. There are friends that you will appreciate and cherish for the rest of the time. My friend from Malaysia, Kyle, and another friend who I haven;t contacted for a long time, Han Foong. In life we meet lots of people, but friends who will really give you guidance, advice, understand you and help you out when you need them are hard to find.

Today, I have got an email regarding a holiday job for the winter break. Some holiday placement to help out with some research for a company. Somehow, I had agree to help out with a research conducted by a professor from Monash. I wanted to try out for the winter placement. Nothing much I can do now.If only the professor had rejected me before, will this be another one of my opportunity?

"Facing with a rejection means there are more opportunities to come." Seem like, this phrase is true. I did not regret for joining up with the research group from Monash. Somehow, the phrase just popped up in my head just now.

Another thing came into my thoughts today, I am going to graduate soon. I will need to plan out on what I should prepare in order to get a good job later on after I graduate. as we all know, nowadays employers are looking for fresh graduates that aren't only good with studies but also excel in other co-curriculum activities. Lately, a lot of people would say that by doing volunteer job would actually do good in your resume. First thing that come across my mind would be, "WOW, should go volunteer myself for some shit and my employer will like me in future.". There are lots of organisation would actually help us to organise all these volunteer job activities. Volunteer ourself and go to some rural country and help out with their infrastructure would be suitable for me. Easiest way would be browsing the Engineers Without Borders site. Last year, there are a few representatives from the organisation came over and introduce some of the volunteer jobs. They would give out brochures showing all these kids with sad faces and the poor living conditions of the environment. Then another part of the brochures would be some of the ex-participants smiling happily for joining the volunteer job. I was thinking, am I being sincere in helping them or just because I want the experience from the job so that I would get a better job in future? Maybe if I was to be in the brochures, I should be grinning evilly.

A bit lost now. I like to blog when I am lost. This blog had being accompanying me for more than two years. My friend is right about me, I don't like to share my problems with other people. I find it easier to type my problems out rather than talking about them. Is it because I do not trust the people around me? Well, a friend commented me on that asking me, "In reality, who do I trust?". Come to think about it, very few people and they do not include my parents. I was able to confirmed that when my mum asked me why I don't share everything with her but in return I would always ask her to share everything with me.

Maybe life is simple, I always believe that I can handle most of the things on my own. I don't find the need to trouble other people for my own problem. There are times, I always feel that a lot of people can't provide me with the answer that I want. I am lucky enough to have a few friends that I can trust around me. There are some people out in the world might be more pathetic than me. They might be out there alone in their room, trying to solve their problems, fails and in the end commit suicide and do stupid things.

Suicide, the most idiotic action to be taken in life. Our life is just too short and beautiful.

Enough for today.

---Still waiting for my books...---