Flashback

Flashback. I have been here nearly for the whole year of 2008. I have been trough even more last year. I have learn about a lot of things. Seen a lot of things. I do still remember how I ended up here. Ended up in Australia. On the 14th of February then it will be a year. I still remember how I have to rush around to settle my things when I arrived here. It is surprising that Shimpei too arrived on the same date as I.

To think of it, when I have to make the decision to come here, it only took me one night. Just one night I have to work out on all the cons and pros of coming over to here. That is excluding the incident which happened to my family before I leave. When I think back, it wasn't easy for me to make the decision. I always tell others that,"My mother asked me to choose either Actuarial science or Engineering but I chosen engineering instead". It is true that my mum gave me the options to choose. But for me to take any decision, I always had a lot of outcomes running in my mind. Like Rach said, "I think too much".

Coming over suddenly does make me feel weird. But in the mean time, I do not stop there feeling weird. I know what I have to do. Maybe nobody knows what is my year 2008 resolutions. At that year my resolution is to get a kick start in my career path. I have got blinded by the resolution that year but in the end I manage to achieve good results in that year. Yea, I finally manage to kick start something even though I am still in my studies.

Few days ago, I manage to chat with a long lost "Best Friend" of mine. It has been a year since we chat with each other. The last time we met and chat with each other was exactly on the 1st of January 2008. We did have a good chat. Then something she said that made me contemplated for a moment at that time. "Now you got friends, family, relationship, business, and etc. You are the perfect man now." I would not agree to that. Maybe to some people a perfect man is that kind of man. To me a perfect man is someone that is able to protect and look over all the people around him. Maybe it is a traditional way of thinking but a man will really have to focus on their career first at a certain point of their life. Even though they might have family, friends or even a relationship, how will they be able to maintain all these without knowing the facts that they do not have a career or to make it simple, an income? That is the main reason I why I have decided to come over to Australia.

In Malaysia, even when I do part time jobs, I do not take them seriously. Even in studies, I have been taking things for granted from my parents. Many others do not see it but I do. I am living my life and I know what is going around with my life. To be frank, deep down I was afraid. Before coming here, I was afraid that in future, I won't be able to achieve anything and let everyone around me down. Most of the time, I do feel that my family have high hopes for me. However, with the way I am leading my life in Malaysia, I know I will fail them. That is why I have to make the decision to come over here.

I do have things that I am afraid of. In this blog, I will be putting a bit of my thoughts and feelings into it. I do learn something from last year too. That is to let people know what we actually are feeling and also thinking. Yesterday, when I was chatting with my cousin. I do feel good when I actually tell him that he can stay over and feel free to contact me if he needs any help since he is coming over here to Australia soon. It is true that I choose my current place of living because I was getting ready in case he is coming. It is also true that I did not tell anyone about this. So, it is not surprising that he didn't know about it. Well, even if you want to help others too, you got to speak out and tell them.

Well, I am a bit dizzy here. Another birthday celebration just now I guess. Never drink on an empty stomach. It really gets you high. Maybe I have high metabolism. It got absorbed into my body very fast. Yea. Very fast. Just now during dinner we do have interesting topics. It is true that we can buy anything in this world right now. Including friends. My friend ask me to send an email to all those who are in Australia, stating that there will be a free Karaoke on this Saturday. I guess all will come. Definitely. Pity shit. I have no problem telling people now, among all my friends, I only trust 4 of them. Yea, only four. One I know from primary school. Two I know from my high school. One is different school but doing law in UK now. Cause they know what I am thinking about. That simple.

Yea. Life is simple. I prefer to project that to other no matter how complicated the things are to me. As for this year resolutions. I will bring my team name up to IDAHO, USA. Nah, my name is not important. If you guys are in my team that means you trust me then I will use my time to work with you guys. So far, our name is already in Victoria. That is just a small step. Malaysia? Nah.. I am not really interested. I always aim higher and go for it. We as perfectionist will go for things that we have confidence in. If not we will prefer to let go or put it aside. So far, don't keep me those bullshit bout envy about our opportunity and you do not have time for it. If you really want it then ride in the boat with me. I don't care bout what you guys have and who you are. If you are in my team then we will work this trough together. My new year resolution. I know I am having my "high education" and also my career now. Then I will just need to work for it now.